Author: Tuhin Bairagi

Hi, Let me give you an understanding, a better understanding of how one must use the ‘EGO’.

WHAT IS EGO?

The term “Ego” is often used in psychology to refer to a person’s sense of self or identity. It includes their beliefs, values, emotions, and attitudes about themselves, others, and the world around them.

When we function from Ego, we tend to view the world through our own self-centered lens. We are often focused on our own desires, needs, and goals, and can become disconnected from others. This can create barriers between us and others, leading to a lack of empathy, understanding, and connection.

The ego is an energy that was given to us for self-defense and should only be used when needed with a choice. However, in our co-relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, we do not need to use our Ego.

WHAT COULD BE THE OTHER WAYS OF HANDLING WRONG BEHAVIOURS?

Allowing people to make mistakes and treating us unkindly or rudely should not be met with Ego. Instead, we can use our Intelligence, Communication Skills, and Assertiveness to let them know that their behavior is not invited into our lives. Cutting out relationships and functioning from Ego is not a healthy choice. Relationships are given to us for a reason, and they can contribute to our growth.

Let’s say that you have a friend who often cancels plans at the last minute without much explanation. This has happened several times, and each time you feel disappointed and frustrated. You could respond to this situation with Ego by getting angry, defensive, and blaming your friend for being inconsiderate. This reaction would likely create distance in your relationship and may cause your friend to become defensive and unwilling to engage with you.

Instead of reacting with Ego, you can use your intelligence, communication skills, and assertiveness to let your friend know how their behavior affects you. You can express your disappointment and frustration and explain that you value their friendship and time together. By communicating assertively and honestly, you give your friend the opportunity to hear your concerns and respond with empathy and understanding.

If your friend continues to cancel plans without explanation, you may need to reevaluate the boundaries of your relationship. However, cutting out relationships and functioning from Ego is not a healthy choice. By recognizing that relationships are given to us for a reason, we can approach challenging situations with compassion and growth in mind.

EGO AS AN AUTOMATIC RESPONSE

When we function from Ego, we create barriers and separate ourselves from others. The ego is one of the most damaging platforms to function in life from. It is important to understand that using Ego as an automatic response is not a healthy option, and it will only take us away from our relationships.

It is important to note that everyone has an Ego, and it is not always a bad thing. A healthy sense of self-esteem and self-confidence is important for our well-being. However, when we rely on Ego as an automatic response to the world around us, it can become a damaging platform to function from.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE FUNCTION FROM EMPATHY?

In contrast, when we function from a place of empathy, compassion, and understanding, we are better able to connect with others and build meaningful relationships. We are more open to different perspectives and are less likely to become defensive or hostile.

Therefore, it is essential to understand and manage our Ego, so that it does not take over our lives and harm our relationships with others. By developing self-awareness, practicing empathy and compassion, and striving to see the world from different perspectives, we can break down the barriers that Ego creates and build stronger, more meaningful connections with those around us.

We can learn valuable lessons from the people who hurt us the most. Their hurt can make us more forgiving, patient, and understanding of human behavior. Instead of using Ego, we can function from a space of love, forgiveness, and allowance. We should only use our Ego in times of real-life threat or danger.

In conclusion, it is important to use our Ego only when needed with a choice. We should not use it in our relationships with loved ones, as it can damage those relationships. Instead, we can use our communication skills and assertiveness to address the behavior that we do not invite into our lives. We should function from a space of love and forgiveness and allow our relationships to contribute to our growth.

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We all experience ‘Negative & Positive Emotions’ in our life, but do you know, our ‘Emotions’ can adversely affect our bodies?

A lot of research & studies have proved that if we do not manage our Negative Emotions properly, they can create a chronic stress condition in our body, which can cause;

• Hormonal Imbalance
• Alter our Brain Chemicals
• Effect on our Immune System

Importance of Emotional Health

There is a deep connection between Physical & Emotional Health. Forex; 

Physical Health is a ‘Car’ and Emotional Health is the ‘Driver’ of that car, so no matter how good your ‘Car’ is, the quality of drive will always depend on the skills of the ‘Driver’.

Human Emotions are of two types; Positive & Negative. They are basically the drivers of our reality. They hold a huge capacity that could either build or burn our cells. 

If you look at the human body, it is nothing but a cluster of 80 trillion such cells. So if we constantly keep ourselves in Negative Emotions, in terms of; fear, anger, and irritation, our cells start to deteriorate and our body starts taking a Negative Direction. On the other hand, if we constantly keep ourselves in Happy emotions, like; love, gratitude, kindness, happiness, and joy, we realize that our body is going in a positive direction. 

Thus, it is very very important to experience ‘Holistic Wellness’, by addressing our Emotional as well as Physical state of being. If we put this in a ratio, then it is 70:30;

• 70% of our Emotional Well-being which also takes care of our mental well-being.
• 30% is our Physical Well-being.

Context of The Human Brain

To keep our Emotions aligned with our mind, it is very important to understand the Context of the Human Brain.

• What are these Emotions?
• Are we having a factory inside us, that is manufacturing Negative Emotions like Anger, every moment?
• What is this mechanism in our body?

If we understand the human body, we have a ‘Brain’, and each and every Emotion is nothing but a ‘Biochemical Reaction’.

• Bio – Biology(Body)
• Chemical – Chemicals that come out of our Brain

Our ‘Brain’ has the capacity to give out at least 1300 such chemicals, and their basic work is to manage our body, for ex; Our Digestion, Heart Beat, Blood Circulation, etc.

A lot of our automatic functions are being managed by these chemicals. Likewise, our Emotions are also managed by these chemicals, for ex; 

• ‘Anger’ is nothing but a chemical called Cortisol.
• ‘Fear’ is nothing but a chemical called Adrenal Cortisol.

These Emotions were given to us for the reason that whenever in life we need self-defense, we could use them. 24 hours our brain is going into a fear mechanism, which means that 24 hours we are feeding ‘Cortisol’ to our body ‘Cortisol’ is such a Negative Chemical that if used continuously, it’s like fire, it starts to eat up our cells. 

Research has stated that 1 minute of Anger, gives enough ‘Cortisol’ to our bloodstream, that it takes 3 days for our body to repair it. 

‘1 minute of Anger, eats up our blood cells to an extent that it takes 3 days for our body to repair it!’

If in a regular routine, we do exercise, go to the gym, do cardio, and all, then this excess ‘Cortisol’ is being consumed.

Causes of Depression

Over the span of living life, people have misinterpreted the context of living life; 

• The whole competition of wanting to prove yourself creates a lot of mental stress and because we are not being able to perform to match up to the materialistic things in life, somewhere we feel deprived and take ourselves to a low state of ‘ I am not good enough’ or ‘I can’t survive in this whole competitive world’.
• Social Media Pressure or Looking Good Pressure; If you look at a human emotional state, in a natural flow, it stays up and down. In earlier times also people used to be sad, but there was no such meaning attached to it, because the word, ‘Depression’ has become more of a fashion statement.

So ‘Depression’, as widely used, is nothing but a low state of mind. The other type of ‘Depression’ is ‘Clinical Depression’ where literally, our brain chemicals go into an imbalance. Truly, ‘Depression‘ is a very ‘Clinical’ term where our brain is giving more ‘Cortisol’ instead of Positive Chemicals, so it is an imbalance in the brain. If I tell this in a layman’s language then, 

‘Depression is nothing but our brain deprived of Oxygen’

If you see’ Nature’, it has been designed so beautifully. Trees need ‘Carbon dioxide’ to survive and Human beings need ‘Oxygen’ to survive Trees give out ‘Oxygen’ and Human Beings give out ‘Carbon dioxide’. Therefore, the more you go into nature, the more you can receive from it. 

That’s why in olden times people used to say the more you are synchronized with nature, coexist with nature, you can deal with things like ‘Depression’.

 Tips to Handle Depression

• A 360* approach(Synchronising of Emotional Health and Physical Health). 

To manage Physical health, ‘Nutrition’ is very important, most notably for ’Depression’, we should include a few things in our food habits that are the must-haves.

• All food high in ‘Serotonin’, for example; Banana. Min 2 bananas are every day for a depressed client.
• Pineapple is very very high in ‘Serotonin’.
• 3-4 Walnuts on empty stomach, very healthy for the brain.
• Flax Seeds, 2 teaspoons on empty stomach with a glass of water.
• Khus has a high Melatonin( A sleep chemical), a natural stimulant for sleeping, before sleeping, have Khus Khus and Almond Milk.

These are the thumb rule principles of taking care of healthy nutrition and obviously a lot of intake of fresh vegetables and fruits.

Now talking about Emotional Balance;

• It’s very important to expose ourselves to ‘Sunlight’, especially when it touches directly on our ‘Pineal Gland’ or the ‘Third eye, it stimulates and creates a lot of ‘Serotonin’ levels. Thus, sunlight is very important for ‘Depression’ Patients.  
• ‘Breathing’ techniques are very important and if you can hire a Yoga coach, they can guide you towards the right breathing techniques, especially the Pranayaam; ‘Brahmari’, where the brain neurons are stimulated with the help of a humming sound. When we create that humming in the brain, it gets a massage and when the neurons get stimulated, they excite the chemicals and elevate our mood.
• These days a lot of endorsement has been given to ‘Meditation’. Meditation is basically when we consciously go into an internal state, a very calm state, and at that time our brain gives out Positive Chemicals like ‘Serotonin’, ‘Oxytocin’, ‘Dopamine’ & ‘Endorphins’. These chemicals help build up our cells. In fact, research has also proved that with 3 min of ‘Meditation’, our brain gives out 1200 Positive Chemicals that keep our body in a state of positive momentum for 6 hours. ( Research from Hartman Institute of Florida, which do a lot of research on Meditation)

So my suggestion to my readers is;

• Physical exercise is very important. If you can’t do anything, just a 30 min walk, 4 times a week is enough. This will maintain your Physical state.
• To balance your Emotional state, do deep breathing, yoga, and meditation, as an everyday routine. In fact, I tell my clients to do deep breathing just like they drink water, for 2 mins, 5-6 times a day.
• Staying in happy company and keeping yourself away from any kind of negativity are very few quick-fix remedies for a very holistic approach to creating Mental, Emotional & Physical well-being.

Ok, That is all for now…

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Let’s talk about this whole essence of what exactly ‘Spirituality’ is about? And how can one actually go within and get in touch with that spiritual essence of who we really are?

Understanding the term ‘SPIRITUALITY’

So when you understand this term, ‘Spirituality’, it is referring to the ‘Spirit’ within us or the ‘Soul Quotient’ that we call it.

As we live our lives, we somehow become programmed devices to our mind programs and we become ‘Automatic’ in our ‘Behaviour’. It’s not really our fault because our 0-14 years of age are so vulnerable that we get conditioned to our environmental behaviour and how we were treated as children. All of these programs are being recorded or all of these experiences are being recorded in our subconscious mind and they start coming out as ‘Automatic behaviors’ when we grow up.

‘Spirituality’ is basically when you move out of your mind programs and your emotional programs and come into the space of your ‘Spirit’ or your ‘Soul’. It’s a journey within my dear friends!

Finding the Essence of God Within!

‘Spirituality’ is not about running here and there and doing many prayers. I mean, it does help to make these prayers, but only if you are really mindfully meaning them and are able to go within. When you go within, when you peel off all the layers that you accumulated since lifetimes, since your mother’s womb( we pick up behaviours when we are in our mother’s womb, we pick up patterns, we pick up emotional vibrations when we are in our mother’s womb or in  our 0-14 years of conditioning) we reach a divine space deep within us, which is our ‘Spirit’ and that is carrying the ‘Essence of God’.

Yes my dear friends, each one of us is carrying the ‘Spirit’ and the ‘Essence of God’. So if we call God a huge ocean, we are all the drops of the ocean that have the same properties. 

‘Spirituality’ is when we can be mindful about our anger, our fear, our guilt, our sadness. I am not saying spiritual people don’t feel these emotions, in fact spiritual people are more aware of these emotions and they understand that having these emotions is as normal and natural as anything else. But when you are in touch with the ‘Spirit’ within and you’re pouring the ‘God Essence’ out or you are broadcasting the God Vibrations, then you don’t damage other people with your anger, you don’t hurt people with your words and you are not rude. You become kind, soft & gentle. You start seeing divinity in every single cell of existence, that for me is ‘Spirituality’.

Living a SPIRITUAL LIFE!

Living a ‘Spiritual Life’ is about being kind, being compassionate, especially with your karmic group souls, where you understand that your life is here with a purpose, and your only purpose is to give ‘Unconditional Love’ to everybody.

‘Spirituality’ is not about ringing bells in temples or running here and there or just sitting and doing meditation. It’s about house cleaning. We came here to clean the scars or the imprints that we have been carrying since lifetimes on our soul. It’s about cleaning your soul and making it white and impeccable again. It’s about finding divinity within.

Being a SPIRITUAL PERSON!

A ‘Spiritual person’ is someone, when somebody else makes a mistake or hurts them, then rather than reacting, he just looks at them and says, ‘Here’s another piece of God, who doesn’t even know what he/she is doing!’ It’s a place of compassion. It’s a place of spiritual sight.

‘Spiritual people’ are people who go within and understand what their ‘Dharma’ or ‘Purpose’ is.

Now for me, How do I understand ‘Dharma’? 

DHARMA as a SPIRITUAL PERSON!

‘Dharma’ or ‘Dharam’ is not about Religion! But it’s about the ‘Religion of my Soul’. What is the ‘Dharma’ of my soul? What was the purpose of my life? Why did I come here?

If I have these few people as my relationships, my spouse, my in-laws, my children, my parents, my siblings, What undone business do I have with them? What is the undone Karma that I am here for?

So when you go within and become so mindful and aware of every single moment of your breath, that is when you actually end up being a ‘Spiritual person’. 

These days people are wearing the ‘Spiritual Badge’ about doing their Meditations or doing Home-chanting. These are tools primarily to take you within the space of your soul. So like, if you want to go from Delhi to Ludhiana, your tool is your Car, Right? Or your Train or Bus, it’s a ‘Vehicle’, Right?

Similarly, ‘Prayers’, ‘Meditations’, ‘Chanting’ or ‘Mantras’ are all rituals that we do, the basic tools that take you within your own ‘Divinity’. But staying there 24×7, getting a grip on that ground and functioning life not from the auto programs that are in your mind and your subconscious and unconscious memories, but being in that space of the ‘Soul’ and functioning from that aspect of you is what ‘Spirituality’ is all about.

And trust me my dear souls, when you get to that space, it is so ‘Divine’, it is a state of fearlessness, a state of surrender, compassion, kindness and you fall in love with life, you fall in love with yourself! 

When you look at ‘Existence’, you can see the Divine in every single aspect and truly ‘Spiritual people’ are people who have embodied the spirit of God in every single cell of their being and are broadcasting that energy moment to moment. They shine their light everywhere where there is darkness, the moment they show their presence, the moment they step in there, the darkness goes away or starts fading away. 

Truly Spiritual People don’t live from an Ego Consciousness, they see everything as one and in their world nothing is superior or inferior, everything is a 50-50 equal and One. Because the truth is, we are all very very very divinely connected to one another and each one of us is here to live our story, clean our soul and find our own purpose.

Spiritual People don’t focus on changing other people because they realise that; 

‘When I change, my world changes, because my outside world is a direct reflection of my inner vibrations & every single vibration that I am broadcasting, will come back to me as my reality!’

Time to Question Yourself!

So my dear souls, this is a beautiful time to go within and question yourself;

• Are you functioning from the past experiences of your subconscious/ unconscious auto programs?
• Are you just an auto-program robot? Or

• Are you willing to be this divine, infinite spiritual person, who can get a grip on their Soul Essence & their Soul Quotient(SQ)?

So your ‘SQ’ is the mother of your IQ, EQ & PQ. When you get a grip on this, that is when you arise to the essence of who you are Spiritually!

Wishing you all a great ‘Journey within’ my dear souls! Because you came here to master yourself, you came here to clean the scars on your soul. You did not come here to judge other people. You did not come here to clean other people. It is not your job. Your job is to love yourself. Your job is to go within and clean yourself. And when you become that embodied frequency of high vibrations, you start broadcasting an energy where you start loving and giving out compassionate love to every single person on the planet. I hope you find the essence of your soul within. Remember you have divinity within you!

Ok, That is all for now…

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Hi, Everybody!

This is Dr. Raman Lamba. Today I want to give you a formula or grip on how you can manage all your problems. 

Everything In The Universe Is Energy!

So when you understand life in all, everything in the universe is Energy. And when you understand the thumb rule fundamentals of Energy, there is something. 

Our universe is made up of 99.99% empty space. And what we call the matter of the solid world is only 0.001%. So all the problems that exist, exist in the form of matter. That means they exist in the 0.1% domain, the domain of matter. 

Field Of Potential!

So what I’m trying to tell you here is we have so much empty space available at every given point of time to create new possibilities, because this empty space is filled up with infinite Energy and it’s called the ‘Field of potential’, or the field of pure potential. That means that this field has every possibility available there. And what creates your reality is basically where you put your focus. 

The Theory Of Observation!

Yes, there is a theory in physics called the ‘Theory of observation’ which proves that it is the human consciousness that creates a reality by observing a reality as it is. So when we talk about observation, observation means the thought that we are thinking, the feeling that we are feeling, or our mindsets to where we are looking at. 

So the only way where you can find an escape from your problems is to focus on the solutions. And the solutions lie in the empty space. In the field of potential, the problem is matter. And when you’re focusing on the problem, you are more. 

So matter plus matter is equal to more matter, and you’re feeding Energy to the problem, so the problem grows. But when you focus on the solution, you are actually feeding that empty space with a question and with the synchronicity and with the co-creation energies between you and the Universe, some magic shows up! 

So this is not really pure luck or it’s just not random jargon. It’s pure physics. It’s pure quantum physics. One thing you must understand is Energy flows where focus goes, or Energy flows where the mind creates focus. 

The Right Focus?

So focus could be through a thought, through a feeling, through an intention, or just through visualising. So the first thing you need to really, really train yourself if you want to change the quality of your life is train your mindset and train your focus point to focus on solutions at every given point of time.

Create an Empty Space of Pure Potential!

Normally, our focus is on what we don’t have. So we are feeding Energy to what we don’t have, and what we don’t have grows. But if you are mindful enough and understand this phenomena of the theory of observation and the power of the mind focus, then you understand that most of the time, when you’re focusing on empty space with a pure positive intention, you’re actually creating from that ‘Empty space of pure potential’. 

Understand the Power of Human Conscience!

So, my dear friends, you must understand if there’s anything on the planet that can actually manipulate matter or create something out of nothing? It is the power of the human mind or the power of the human conscience. So become mindful, learn the game, and become the creators of your reality. Because if you focus on the matter part of it or the problem part of it, you truly are being the destroyer of your reality. 

This is your life coach, Dr. Roma Lamba, and feel free to ask me any questions about this.

 Remember, you live in a very friendly universe, and there’s great love for you on the planet. Ok, That is all for now…

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Conscious Parenting is one of the most committed and responsible tasks bestowed upon the species of Human Beings. As parents, it is our role and responsibility to make sure that we raise Emotionally, Physically & Mentally well-balanced individuals on this planet.

The Theta Stage:

60% of our behaviors are programmed in our cellular memories during the fetal stage in our mother’s womb. And the rest of our programming happens from 0-7 years of age, the most critical years of a child’s foundation where every single thing that’s spoken in the environment, every single action that is going on is being implanted as a memory in the child’s subconscious because the brain during that age is in the Theta Stage( The stage of programming of the subconscious mind).

So it’s very important that we understand how to raise our children. Also that we need to become the ideal examples of being the person we want our children to be.

The Core Survival Needs of Nurturance, Touch, Belongingness & Love:

What makes human beings superior to any other species, is the brain, the evolved brain, also called the neo-cortex or the intelligent brain. We as a species have been endowed with the maximum level of intelligence or consciousness than any other species on this planet. Keeping this in mind, it is very important that everything about our behavior and mechanisms is managed by our brain which takes 21 years to develop, primarily, 0-14 years for at least some kind of development. And my dear friends, the one core survival need for us as humans are not food or shelter, that comes secondary, primary survival need is nurturance, touch, a sense of belongingness, and love of both the mother and the father.

Is the Environment Safe Enough?

If and when these survival needs are not met at an early age, the brain somehow starts perceiving that it’s not in a safe environment and goes into an auto-programmed threat mode or a fearful mode all the time. That is why the concept of marriage was made in the human species so that the mother and the father could stay around with each other, nurture the child and contribute towards a well-balanced upbringing.

But since nobody explains this to us, we as parents have been auto-programmed in our childhood with behavior mechanisms and end up giving the same to our children as a legacy. These are the patterns of anger, fear, and sadness. We don’t even realize that the child is designed to learn through observation and most of the time it is the child’s environment that is creating his/her reality, so if the child is in an environment where there is a lot of conflict between the mother and the father, the child goes into a threat mode or reactive mode, and ever since it’s born, the reactive brain is being nurtured more than the conscious or cognitive brain.

So, my dear parents, Conscious Parenting is an act where parents( Both the mother and the father) are conscious from moment to moment and not behaving like subconsciously auto-programmed robots.

Are You A Robot or Are You A Human Being?

My question here to every parent is; Are you a robot or are you a human being?
We have lost the essence of consciousness somewhere, the essence to make choices, and we are constantly reacting. Now as we are aware that from the age of 0-7 years( The prime programming years of a child), the child does not have a logical brain because of which they cannot process information logically. Thus, if there is a conflict between the parents and the child( Shouting/Screaming or Saying anything that’s unacceptable to the child), the child starts believing that ‘I’m not good enough’, that ‘There’s something wrong with me’ and starts perceiving life as a threat.

Your Child Is Observing Your Behaviour!

The child is only learning very innocently through Observation. Observation creates an impact on the memory and the subconscious. We are born with something called Mirror Neurons so that we can mirror our environment and it is our environment that creates our behavior and not our genetics.

Thus, Parents need to be mindful, especially from the time of conception to the first 7 years, the foundation-building years of a child.

The child is never going to learn through a lecture so if you want your child to be a certain way, you have to display that behavior and be that change as they are going to learn by observing you. And guess what? All of these behaviors are implanted in the first 0-14 years and right after your child is about 16, 17, and adolescence, all of those behaviors start coming out and then suddenly you see your child, behaving exactly as you behave.

Are you willing to be that generation of parents who breaks the cycle and starts giving something different to your children?

A lot of parents I meet who have children above 12-14 years, ask me this question, ‘Now the damage is done, what do we do?’. So, before the age of 21, the child’s brain has fully not developed so it’s in a very malleable state, it’s not hard-wired with behaviors, it’s very simple to manipulate the brain and works on new neural pathways and new behavior mechanisms.

Beating is an absolute ‘NO’

Every species on this planet is more wired for kindness, compassion, touch, love, and belongingness. We were never wired for aggression, even a simple scolding or shouting for a small child from the parents is actually Trauma. It leads to a lot of deep-rooted trauma and psychological wounds that we are not aware of. Beating is an absolute ‘No’. There are no species on the planet that beats up its own child. It is only human beings that have lost it somewhere and we took on slapping and beating our children. When I speak to parents they say, ‘Bas Ek thappad To Maara Tha!’, it’s an absolute ‘NO’.

We Are Originally Wired For Compassion, Not Aggression!

Understand my dear friends, every human being is born with this essence of ‘God’, we all carry this true core self of divinity within us. But in the first 14 years of our life based on how our environment treated us, we lose that ‘God’ essence and start believing that we are ‘Dog’, so you’ve lost the ‘God’ and you’ve become that ‘Dog’ like character who is reacting all the time and who is missing out on the essence of losing its cognitive brain or the conscious mind. My dear friends, it’s very very important for you to take on the role of conscious parents, understand it and be kind, compassionate, and mindful parents because your children are the future of our planet tomorrow and as a collective, if each one of us become conscious then we will save our future generations.

I am once again reaffirming the fact that kindness is the key, compassion is the key, patience is the key and if you don’t have it, please don’t destroy your children’s foundation by being unkind, rude, and an auto-programmed device to your accustomed behavior.

So, first, work on yourself, and change yourself as a human being, your child will just truly pick up your behavior automatically even without you training your child. Conscious Parenting is about being mindful and learning to train your child with more patience and communication rather than aggressive behavior. You cannot scream and shout at a child and teach them something positive, it’s just not aligned with the purpose.

So once again my dear friends, Are you willing to step up as conscious parents? Because the entire future of our planet depends on our children!

Ok, That is all for now…
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